She asks for help.
I’ve felt overwhelmed at various points in the past few weeks months …well, the feeling occurs a lot. I’m a perfectionist when it comes to certain things. I like feeling control over situations in my life. I want to do things myself.
I have a hard time asking for help.
(I’m sure none of you reading this are the same way, right? I mean, I am sure all of my friends out there are worry-free and always asking for assistance…she says with a sarcastic voice.)
I’ve had a few really big projects recently at work. I had completed 1/4 of major project before I went on vacation. It involved a huge mailing to four large groups. I managed to get the first mailing out the week before vacation and I left pieces for the other three to be worked on while I was out. When I was picking up my paper work upon my return to work, a colleague commented on how she did the bulk of the work for another colleague, to which I replied, “she’s so much smarter than me about this stuff.” And the woman told me, “SHE asks for help.”
That comment has stuck with me.
Late Tuesday afternoon, another colleague offered to help me finish stuffing envelopes for my final group mailing. I had already completed groups two and three. I was feeling pretty accomplished and I was on a roll. I declined her assistance, even though I still had a bit to go. And then I remembered the comment from Monday. I asked my colleague if she would mind helping label the envelopes. That was a two hour task on my own. It took us about 40 minutes to knock it out together.
I do not know why I have so much trouble asking for or accepting assistance from those around me. It makes no sense. Except, I like to be in control.
And there have been other random, sometimes frequent, instances where I just don’t want to ask for help. When my son was born and I was recovering from a c-section, I had the hardest time accepting help with even the laundry (though I did have to ask that the baskets of clothes be carried downstairs for me.) I still insist on doing all of the laundry in our house.
I’m working on this, though, as proven by me asking for assistance last week. I just purchased a housekeeping package on Groupon. I’m paying for help, but at least I’m getting some during what is going to be a super busy time at work.
Baby steps, friends.
Do you have a hard time asking/accepting help from friends or colleagues?
I am like you… a perfectionist and then I am also anal retentive.. I will ask for help but it has to be someone like me! Someone that will do the job right.
Sometimes it is hard to ask for help. I don’t know why it is, but I am in the same way. I think deep down I think people will think I am weak or not good enough if I can’t do it all myself.
I never bother to ask for help,I would rather do something myself, I honestly am happy to get on with anything I need to on my own.
Yes! I ask a lot of questions to make sure I am doing something right, but when it comes to asking for help to complete something, I have a hard time.
You should never feel ashamed to ask for help. We have all been in the same situations at times.
I don’t like to ask for help but sometimes you just have to.
Yes, I do! I want to be able to DO IT ALL!
I have a hard time asking for help as well. I think it just something that makes me feel like I’m not capable, but I have gotten better about this. We all need help at times š
It is so hard to ask for help a lot of the time. I always think, there’s no way anyone would actually want to do that for or with me, but there are a lot of really nice people i guess and really don’t mind.
It is hard to ask for help and I know this because I am that person!
I struggle with this too but I’ve gotten better about it over time. The funny thing is, people are usually more than willing to help out if you just ask and it makes them feel good to be helpful.
baby steps are big steps! I can totally relate, but truth is we are always more efficient as a team. that allows us to focus on bigger and better challenges!
I am so much like you! I have a hard time asking for help. I was suffering from exhaustion awhile back and my son was at daycare and I decided to just lay down for a second I passed totally out til the middle of the night. When I woke up I couldn’t find my son anywhere and I was freaking out I had tons of missed calls and come to find out my son was still at daycare. My cousin thank God went to go get him. My family and I had a sit down and they said its time for me to start asking for help.
You don’t earn a badge or metal of honor for playing super women all you get is less you time and less time with your loved ones if you don’t ask for help. If you ask for help from people you love who you know will not let you down you’ll fly by a lot more relax and wont have so much use to control it all. micromanaging is ingrained inside our womenly dna. I understand that need to do it all myself it wasn’t until I got sick with gasteroperieses that I finally asked for more help from step kids and hubby. my 7 year old even helps some times. Finding a balance is so challenging.
Unfortunately for me, the main reason I don’t ask for help of quite a few projects is because I want it done a certain way. The right way. The perfect way. I am and have been working on this “issue” and feel I have made some progress. As I have aged, I do realize that certain things are just not that important to me and I need to relax on my standards.
Asking for help can be hard, as I know. But, sometimes I find it to be necessary .
I am the same too. I hate asking for help because I am afraid of the rejection I suppose. And more times than not, I think I can do it better myself. We all need someone. Life isn’t meant to be lived alone
I can totally relate to this. I’m also a perfectionist and relish in the fact that things are done right, or my way. š
Yes. I like to do everything by myself in my own way. I try hard not to ask but once I needed help due to an emergency situation. It was really tough but in the end I knew it was the right thing to do.
I am terrible at it I will hold out to the very last second before admitting I need help. It’s a huge flaw of mine.
I have no problem asking for help or accepting it. Except at home for some reason. If hubs does housework I feel insulted lol
I dont mind asking for help. I guess I do try to do it all first. lol
I don’t really like asking for help either. I always think it’s going to be more work for me if I have to explain it to someone else.
me too, me too, me too! I am learning to accept offers of assistance when they come as well as not to micro manage the way they complete said tasks š so much less stress!!