I’ve felt overwhelmed at various points in the past
few weeks months …well, the feeling occurs a lot. I’m a perfectionist when it comes to certain things. I like feeling control over situations in my life. I want to do things myself.
I have a hard time asking for help.
(I’m sure none of you reading this are the same way, right? I mean, I am sure all of my friends out there are worry-free and always asking for assistance…she says with a sarcastic voice.)
I’ve had a few really big projects recently at work. I had completed 1/4 of major project before I went on vacation. It involved a huge mailing to four large groups. I managed to get the first mailing out the week before vacation and I left pieces for the other three to be worked on while I was out. When I was picking up my paper work upon my return to work, a colleague commented on how she did the bulk of the work for another colleague, to which I replied, “she’s so much smarter than me about this stuff.” And the woman told me, “SHE asks for help.”
That comment has stuck with me.
Late Tuesday afternoon, another colleague offered to help me finish stuffing envelopes for my final group mailing. I had already completed groups two and three. I was feeling pretty accomplished and I was on a roll. I declined her assistance, even though I still had a bit to go. And then I remembered the comment from Monday. I asked my colleague if she would mind helping label the envelopes. That was a two hour task on my own. It took us about 40 minutes to knock it out together.
I do not know why I have so much trouble asking for or accepting assistance from those around me. It makes no sense. Except, I like to be in control.
And there have been other random, sometimes frequent, instances where I just don’t want to ask for help. When my son was born and I was recovering from a c-section, I had the hardest time accepting help with even the laundry (though I did have to ask that the baskets of clothes be carried downstairs for me.) I still insist on doing all of the laundry in our house.
I’m working on this, though, as proven by me asking for assistance last week. I just purchased a housekeeping package on Groupon. I’m paying for help, but at least I’m getting some during what is going to be a super busy time at work.
Baby steps, friends.
Do you have a hard time asking/accepting help from friends or colleagues?