Embracing myself (and blogging it out) #blogitout #30Topics

I’ve been wanting to join Tamara’s link up for a few weeks, but I keep forgetting/running out of time/running out of thoughts. But not this week. When she posted on Facebook this: Question: Are You Yourself? Embracing the flaws and all? Is it hard w/social media? I had to respond.

I definitely think I am myself. If I’m not myself, who am I? Really?

Way, way back in the day, I think I had a hard time finding myself. I think I was good at adapting to what others wanted me to be, but I wasn’t always truly myself. Or truly happy.

And one day a lightbulb went off in my head. I ended a relationship (fairly quickly, I might add) and people started commenting on this new me. The Jaime who enjoyed different activities, her friends, music, and even being by herself. The Jaime who had a creative side and a compassionate side.

I’ve been blogging since 2005. Before my “official” blog, I was updating a website with travel photos and a few brief updates (so kind of like blogging, but I didn’t want to go in-depth because I worked in the local media and I didn’t want strangers to find me.) Now I thrive on my online friends. My pocket friends.

When I look back on old posts, I can see how much I’ve changed over the years. It’s kind of fun to see those changes.

I’ve always been real online – whether it’s on my blog or social media. These days I don’t share every negative thought that pops into my head. And I don’t try to be too depressing or angry on Facebook. It’s so easy to overshare, and I’ve tried not to be that person. Thanks to my Timehop app, I can see my tweets/posts/photos from years past and I don’t want to remember life as awful.

I hope I don’t come off as “too perfect” on here either.

I’ve been married almost 7 years, and I don’t claim it’s been a perfect fairytale 7 years. Some days are TOUGH, and I’d rather deal with our challenges in real life. I’m a mom and my kid is hilarious, but there are days I want to rip my hair out. My body did not bounce right back after I had my baby. I had a c-section and I still deal with the mental part of that every day. Physically, it took me longer to be able to exercise and 2.5 years later, I still have weight to lose. I’m a runner, but I’m not a fast one (and I’m totally cool with this fact.) Some days I am a hot mess. I’m very disorganized in some parts of my life (and this drives me CRAZY.)

But I accept all of these things about myself. I never want my son to feel he’s not good enough. I want him to be respectful and accepting of others, and I hope that I’m teaching him all the right things right now.

So, do I think I am myself? Yes. Do I have flaws? Definitely. Do I hide things on social media? For sure. However, I also think I’m evolving and growing every day. And I do tend to share those things in real life and with my pocket friends.