Now that our baby is a toddler, when is baby #2 coming?
I’ve been getting this question a LOT lately in regards to having a toddler. “When are you having another one?”
(Look at the sweet toddler. And how tired I look, even though I had close to 8 hours of sleep the night before.)
I thought that by running so much (and completing a marathon, followed by two half marathons), it would have been clear that babies are not on my brain. I don’t know if or when we’ll have a second child. We’re not even sure if we want a second child – and we certainly don’t want an infant right now.
1. We really want to enjoy the toddler years, as much as they can be enjoyed. I know we’re going to be in some trouble when the terrible 2’s start, so I want to enjoy my little boy as much as possible.
2. My baby didn’t sleep through the night for fifteen months. And then a few months ago, when we were up at 4 a.m. because he couldn’t get himself back to sleep, I thanked God we weren’t pregnant because I felt like we had a good run of 3 months of sleep-filled nights and that it was all a joke. The joke was on us.
3. A c-section was not pleasant and I don’t want to have to think about another surgery right now. There’s a really good chance I’d end up with another c-section (though I’d love to avoid it, at all costs.) I know that’s selfish of me, but I don’t feel like I have my body back and I want to be so healthy if I ever get pregnant again.
4. Finances. The cost of raising a child is a lot! At this time, we’re not fortunate enough to be able to live solely on one income, so daycare is a must. Diapers, food, plus clothes on top of daycare? So much money. There’s also college accounts that we have to fund. We’ve been fine this past year and a half, and if we decide to expand our family, we want to be able to provide (comfortably) for our kids.
5. Want another selfish reason? My running has been going so well and I’ve been able to somewhat consistently run 9-minute miles (or less) while training. I can’t do that if I’m pregnant. I feel like I’m finally getting back into my running rhythm.
So, dear friends and family. Are you a one-and-done kind of couple? Not having any kids? Or having multiple babies back to back? How did you tell people to back off when they asked when baby boy or girl was going to get a sibling?
As a side note, we went to a party recently and several people thought I was pregnant because I wasn’t drinking. I promised that we’d get together soon and I would even drink alcohol. Sometimes I just don’t want to drink – is that awful?
As much as I’d like to have another child, we are a one-and-done family. Our son is 7, and I can’t imagine bringing a newborn into his life. My husband and I started school when our son was 6 months old, and now we have student loans to pay, sports for the boy, and everything else under the sun.
When my husband’s family asked when we were going to have another (when Ethan was 2), I told them “when my husband can carry and give birth to it.” It just isn’t in the cards for us. And, even though I’d like to have a little girl, I’m perfectly happy with my boys. I’m perfectly happy, and totally love, being a sports mom!
Good luck! Hopefully people will back off and just let you and your husband make the decisions that are best for your family.
I ALWAYS consume alcohol immediately upon seeing the in-laws. the benefit is two fold, but mostly so they don’t hold out hopes we’re going to give them any big news.
I don’t think there’s really a “selfish” reason to not have a baby! It’s your family and your decision, you know? Nice to hear your thoughts on this!
I think Abbey said it right – it’s your decision! Our kiddos are about the same age and we get this questions all.the.time I don’t mind it so much since we both agree that we want another child (about 98% sure we’ll be done with two) but it is exhausting to have people expect us to explain why we are waiting. I have a lot of the same reasons as you – I’m spending as much time as I can with the kid right now, she’s at a great learning age and I love that I get to witness that without being distracted by taking care of another child. I’m really proud of myself where I am fitness wise, and I don’t think I’m quite ready to give that up – although, I wasn’t this way before kid #1 so I go back and forth on being excited to have a ‘fit’ pregnancy.
Daycare costs for two kids – EFF YOU. We make enough that we could afford it if we needed too but not too little that it would justify the cost if I was a SAHM.
Honestly, the older the kiddo gets the more I’m not opposed to having siblings 5 or 6 years apart. She can “help” us with the new baby, we’ll only have one payment to daycare at a time and it gives the husband and I time to reconnect before diving into a family of 4.
I just laugh and shrug it off – because, believe it or not, people ask me about #3, and Jo is only 6 months old. So you’re going to get it either way. š I think that it’s not anyone’s business if and why you are or aren’t planning to expand your family. That is a personal, family decision. You make that decision based on what is right for your family, so it is not selfish! š
One and Done. Even more reason to be thankful she is a peach! LOL.
Just kidding, sometimes I wish we would be able to give her a little brother or sister…but its just not in the cards.
The transition from 1 to 2 was very hard for us, as you know, but I would do it again. I mean, I wouldn’t go from 2 to 3, but I’m not sorry about going from 1 to 2. I think about how much I love my siblings. They are my best friends even in adulthood, and I can’t imagine life without them. I wanted V to have the same experience. It will be challenging no matter what you decide – even having an only child has its challenges. You just have to do what’s right for you.
I always say I’m not sure I want to have any kids. But I’m 25 so everyone rolls their eyes and says “wait til you’re 30!” Sooo I guess we’ll see haha