I’ve been getting this question a LOT lately in regards to having a toddler. “When are you having another one?”
(Look at the sweet toddler. And how tired I look, even though I had close to 8 hours of sleep the night before.)
I thought that by running so much (and completing a marathon, followed by two half marathons), it would have been clear that babies are not on my brain. I don’t know if or when we’ll have a second child. We’re not even sure if we want a second child – and we certainly don’t want an infant right now.
1. We really want to enjoy the toddler years, as much as they can be enjoyed. I know we’re going to be in some trouble when the terrible 2’s start, so I want to enjoy my little boy as much as possible.
2. My baby didn’t sleep through the night for fifteen months. And then a few months ago, when we were up at 4 a.m. because he couldn’t get himself back to sleep, I thanked God we weren’t pregnant because I felt like we had a good run of 3 months of sleep-filled nights and that it was all a joke. The joke was on us.
3. A c-section was not pleasant and I don’t want to have to think about another surgery right now. There’s a really good chance I’d end up with another c-section (though I’d love to avoid it, at all costs.) I know that’s selfish of me, but I don’t feel like I have my body back and I want to be so healthy if I ever get pregnant again.
4. Finances. The cost of raising a child is a lot! At this time, we’re not fortunate enough to be able to live solely on one income, so daycare is a must. Diapers, food, plus clothes on top of daycare? So much money. There’s also college accounts that we have to fund. We’ve been fine this past year and a half, and if we decide to expand our family, we want to be able to provide (comfortably) for our kids.
5. Want another selfish reason? My running has been going so well and I’ve been able to somewhat consistently run 9-minute miles (or less) while training. I can’t do that if I’m pregnant. I feel like I’m finally getting back into my running rhythm.
So, dear friends and family. Are you a one-and-done kind of couple? Not having any kids? Or having multiple babies back to back? How did you tell people to back off when they asked when baby boy or girl was going to get a sibling?
As a side note, we went to a party recently and several people thought I was pregnant because I wasn’t drinking. I promised that we’d get together soon and I would even drink alcohol. Sometimes I just don’t want to drink – is that awful?