That’s the question Tamara poses today. Do you dwell in the past or do you focus on the present?
I feel like I do a bit of both. There are many things that I’ve held onto. I often find myself discussing how things were run, or what I experienced, at my previous job. It’s like night and day compared to where I work now (with my current work conditions so different, but good.) I know people get annoyed by my bringing the past up, but it was such a huge part of me, it’s hard to just ignore it.
I try to look at the future. Live in the moment. Enjoy today and being present.
Sometimes someone does something so hurtful that it’s hard to let go. In middle and high school, there was a girl who was particularly mean to me. She now works at a store near my house. I run into her more frequently than any other classmate of mine. I still don’t like her. She and I have also hung out with mutual friends and I’ve learned to be much more tolerant. I just don’t forget.
I see this in my son. A girl at daycare bit him once (and now it’s been 3 or 4 times. They’ve been going to daycare together for almost 2 years.) For weeks – even a few months after the initial incident – he’d say “Insert girl’s name bite. She bite.” It took a long time for him to let it go. I don’t want him to live like that, and in order for that to happen, I think I need to live more in the present.
Yes, I worked somewhere almost 15 years. And I experienced so many life events during that time. Break-ups, meeting my future husband, promotions, marriage, buying my home, having a baby. But I have a new, better, different job now and the people are wonderful and I still have many more life events to experience. There’s no need to live in the past and harbor anger at all of those left behind (or those that were part of the layoff process. I still have some resentment towards them.)
I definitely see that I live in both the past and present, but I’m trying to focus on the present because it’s so good.
I can absolutely relate to running into people from your past that were particularly hurtful to you – even if they didn’t really know it at the time. Popular crowds, yo. I still live in the same town as I did in high school, so I run into a lot of people I really don’t mind never seeing again, lol. I do the same thing, I interact, I’m social, but I don’t forget and I like to use it as a reminder to myself that what I say & do is a projection of who I am and I need to be conscious of that at all times. you never know what people will remember. I think as a parent this is especially important – I don’t want my daughter growing up with resentment in her heart because she see’s her mom with it.
I find myself living in the FUTURE often. I will be thinking about all the stuff I have to do coming up, that I forget to live in the present! Great post 🙂