So I agreed to do something several weeks ago and it’s proving to be more intense than I originally thought it would be. There’s a chance I’m going to have to back out of this project, and it’s really playing games with my head.
This isn’t a paid gig or anything like that. I’m not letting down someone close to me. I’m not really letting anyone down that even knows me in real life. But for some reason saying no to this particular project is difficult for me.
(This quote sums up how I feel this evening.)
The toddler is sick again. She’ll be making another trip to the sick clinic tomorrow. Our heating guy was out to our house twice this weekend. He went as far as texting me tonight to see if everything was working (knowing full well that the heat will go out by morning, and we’re just hanging in there until the part can make it to my house.) Our dishwasher has been broken for almost two weeks, and the new one is supposed to be delivered and installed tomorrow morning – at the same time I’m going to the dentist and my husband will be taking our daughter to the doctor.
And yet I went ahead to get a massage yesterday afternoon. I’ve had a gift certificate to use since last Christmas, and I just now got around to using it. I mean, who does that?? (Oh, that would be me. I have a slew of gift cards from recent YEARS that I recently found and need to use.)
Chloe, though? She has no cares. She doesn’t care that she is disrupting the toddler’s sleep when she busts into the nursery to sleep in the rocking chair. No cares when she lays on my chest in the middle of the night – or steals my spot in the bed when I get up with said toddler.
And I want to be more like my cat. (Not just because she gets approximately 20 hours of sleep each day.)
No, I want to be like Chloe because when the tough gets going, Chloe gets to sleep. Or rest. Or snap at you. Whatever makes her feel better. She doesn’t worry about the heat possibly not coming on in the morning, or who is going to make school lunches or does everyone have clean clothes? (Which thankfully I did fold 920348234 loads of laundry tonight so we all have clothes for the week.)
I think we all need to rest more, care less about the things we really can’t control, and just ignore some people when it’s really necessary.
Here’s to all of us being a little nicer to ourselves in this holiday season.