When enough is enough in friendship
I’ve been known as someone who hates to see a relationship die. I have the same circle of friends I met back in 7th grade, and it’s been a joke of ours that if we all get together, it’s because I’ve kept the relationships going.
I believe I was popular by association in high school. I had a couple of friends who were popular, and therefore I was accepted into some of the other cliques. (And to the girl who used to turn around to copy answers from me in math class, I just wonder where that got you in life? Because I knew then that you weren’t really my friend.)
Obviously, it pains me to see friendships end. Sometimes, though, it has to happen.
I also have a tendency to allow people to use me. I have a core group of friends that I can talk to sporadically and we just pick up where we left off last. But then I have the fair weather friends. The ones that will drop the friendship when it’s not convenient for them (because I have a child or they have a new boyfriend or whatever life event has come up.) The ones that come back to me when they need something. These are the most draining.
Newsflash. If we haven’t shared personal stories with each other in 10 or 11 months, please don’t think we’re still close. I don’t shut people out purposefully.
I’m tired of trying to please everyone. I’m tired of one-sided friendships. For once, I’d love to hear from people wondering how I’m doing, versus what I’m doing for them. If I’m being completely honest, the past six months have been hard. And if you are keeping up with my life solely through this site, you’re missing out on 70% of my life.
My word of the year is “thrive.” Or survive. Whichever I’m feeling when you ask me. In order to thrive, I have to stop hanging onto the toxic relationships in my life. Life is too short to deal with that.
Jaime, as one of the 7th grade crew, I can honestly say that you were popular because you were and still are friendly. I don’t think you know a stranger. I was always envious of you for how easy it seemed to be for you to make friends. I was and still am incredibly shy.I realize that I have not been as good of a friend as I should be. I blame myself for that. I have had so many things pulling me in so many directions and so many bad things happening that I have nearly dropped everyone from my life. Totally my fault and I apologize. I have been thrilled to see you thrive this year, and succeed. You are a wonderful parent and an amazing person. It is an honor to have known you this long!
Oh, Steph. You know you’re one of my favorite people (and we’ve chatted about all you’re dealing with! Life! It’s so tough!!) Can’t wait to see you this weekend. š
The end of a bad friendship opens doors for true people to walk in your life. You reap what you sow, therefore, I believe God will give you friends who will be there for you no matter what. You are amazing and I admire you. {hugs}
Such a great post, Jaime. One-sided friendships are truly exhausting! You don’t have time for any of that. You really do have so many talents and gifts, but other people need to see those treasures that add to the friendship not services waiting to be used at their will. XOXO